Page 11 of 12 FirstFirst ... 9101112 LastLast
Results 201 to 220 of 230

Thread: High functioning/drug addicted

  1. #201
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    1,011
    LiveLoveLaugh has a brilliant futureLiveLoveLaugh has a brilliant futureLiveLoveLaugh has a brilliant futureLiveLoveLaugh has a brilliant futureLiveLoveLaugh has a brilliant futureLiveLoveLaugh has a brilliant futureLiveLoveLaugh has a brilliant futureLiveLoveLaugh has a brilliant futureLiveLoveLaugh has a brilliant futureLiveLoveLaugh has a brilliant futureLiveLoveLaugh has a brilliant futureLiveLoveLaugh has a brilliant futureLiveLoveLaugh has a brilliant futureLiveLoveLaugh has a brilliant futureLiveLoveLaugh has a brilliant futureLiveLoveLaugh has a brilliant futureLiveLoveLaugh has a brilliant future

    @Bella38 is correct. Trams do show up on certain drug screens. Way back when I was still ordering, I purchased what I thought was norco from a "trusted" source that has since been sent up the river. I had a legal script for norco. So I thought I was good for a drug test. Something came up in my drug screen that then required gcms testing. Tramadol showed up. Those norcos were obviously not norcos. I'm off of all pain meds now thank goodness.
    Likes djrick liked this post

  2.  
    Dear visitor, If you are looking for an online pharmacy please take a look at the following pharmacies in our Top Rated section. Each one has genuine, uncensored feedback from real users.
    High functioning/drug addicted
  3. #202
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Posts
    61
    kakorate will become famous soon enough

    I am honestly not quite sure what i am man...lol i have never been a fan of the "hard" stuff. But, i have been using tramadol with soma for about 7 years now and have been able to function...as long as i am consistently taking it. if i miss a dose then all hell breaks loose and it is actually a sad situation to be in.

    But yeah, to answer directly i havent used hard stuff consistently just dabbled a tiny bit (oxy, xan, etc) and never really cared for being punch drunk-high.

  4. #203
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Hogwarts
    Posts
    654
    jaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud of

    Quote Originally Posted by Anne Onomis View Post
    You sound very much like me. I usually do 100, at the most 200. Am I dependent? Absolutely! It has been a miracle drug for me on both depression and pain. In regards to the subject question of the thread, I function normally because of them, not in spite of them. Ever since starting, I have been able to hold down full-time jobs and am generally much more agreeable to be around.

    I would be dependent on traditional antidepressants, if they actually worked for me. Most didn't touch it at all, and all had side effects that ranged from annoying (sleepy all the time) to horrible (miserable and suicidal). Clear from reading online that for some, trams work when nothing else does.

    Though I fear getting in trouble legally over it some day, I can say this: I am a guilt-prone person that feels bad about everything, but I will never feel guilty for my self-medicating, which harms exactly nobody and allows me to be a productive member of society. Getting in trouble will seriously suck but I will not feel guilty for my actions. And if I die of a bad reaction one day? I am fine with the risk, I think I wouldn't have made it this long without them anyways and with them my life is actually worth living.
    Your situation is a PERFECT example, in my mind, of how ridiculous the whole war on drugs is. It's just my opinion, but I think there are folks that are self-destructive and will find a way to ruin their lives with just about anything, and then there are folks who are looking to make their lives more livable. If finding a particular med HELPS that, it's really no one elses business - most especially the government's. Laws are always one size fits all and certain drugs are ok and certain ones aren't. Reality is that it's a VERY individual proposition for each person and again - some folks are going to have severe problems which we need to offer help for, and the ones who aren't causing problems need to be left the heck alone...
    Likes Anne Onomis, Gullible, cris, luvspets liked this post
    The cause of all suffering is attachment...

  5. I think highly functional is possible
    I see it in the people I work with every day. On drugs yet doing it all right
    Likes jaders, snowy, sweetniko, davidpaul liked this post

  6. #205
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Earth, I think...
    Posts
    2,454
    petenyc has a reputation beyond reputepetenyc has a reputation beyond reputepetenyc has a reputation beyond reputepetenyc has a reputation beyond reputepetenyc has a reputation beyond reputepetenyc has a reputation beyond reputepetenyc has a reputation beyond reputepetenyc has a reputation beyond reputepetenyc has a reputation beyond reputepetenyc has a reputation beyond reputepetenyc has a reputation beyond reputepetenyc has a reputation beyond reputepetenyc has a reputation beyond reputepetenyc has a reputation beyond reputepetenyc has a reputation beyond reputepetenyc has a reputation beyond reputepetenyc has a reputation beyond reputepetenyc has a reputation beyond reputepetenyc has a reputation beyond reputepetenyc has a reputation beyond repute

    @4renzicz

    This is a really great thread. As I posted earlier on it when started, things have changed a bit since then.

    Between some medical issues and mainly lack of self control find my self dependent on OC's. Agree with @Kessa - dependent

    I am well aware of the of my weakness for high and feeling , how easy it is to get snagged by the euphoria like my old friend "H". I can now wipe my over 30 clean slate clean.

    Know better and from what I need against what I want, well I lost. Also for work it was recently starting to affect me there along with the $$. So I say "Uncle".

    Took two weeks off from work, stocked up on Sub strips, kolonpin, ambian for sleep and just in case some imodium. Really did not want to go cold T as it would not have been bad, so went the sub route. Plan on a short term/very very low dose- use of the subs, only 6 or 7 day taper then off. Same for the Klon's. Still expect some WD's but should be much less than other options.
    Did a lot of reading and research as to the options and methods for a few weeks to decide on the best way for me. Last thing I want is a different monkey on my back. All the pros and cons of subs and very aware of what I am using.

    Its kinda funny how I could taper off benzos to 0 over time, but was able to do close so with the op, but not make the last step after getting it low - so much for self control which I was always able to maintain.

    Give myself credit at least for "seeing" it and taking steps to take time off to get this out of my system, as I bring this up here now as I am well into day 1.

    As functional as I was before I got sick and needed the pain meds - you never know what that is around the corner or what tomorrow will bring.

    Please be careful as it can sneak up on you before you even realize it..............


    Best to all - Pete
    Helpful snowy, Blackbird123 Rated helpful
    Likes jaders, Walty, 4legsgood, Balance liked this post
    A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life - Unknown. "Why don’t you knock it off with them negative waves" - Oddball / Kellys Heros.

  7. I feel like I'm going to serious regret this post tomorrow morning, but here goes.

    I'm a very high functioning dependent/addict/whatever that means, and I've been this way since 2001, when my physical problems began and the fllodgate in my brain broke out and my demons escaped and began making me their personal bitch toy. I lost it mentally back in 2001, put a loaded revolver in my mouth and nearly pulled the trigger, but couldn't do that to my family. So, instead, I just numbed the pain as best I could.

    I have serious back problems, arthritis, other physical issues and I found early on, that drugs not only quelled my physical symptoms, but eased the emotional storm that raged in my brain. I had lots of emotional issues, OCD behavior, manic behavior, social avoidance, panic disorder, and paranoid shit going on (I still sleep with a loaded pistol under the pillow, but let's not get into all that). I'm not sure what an official diagnosis would have been, but I'm sure it would have been some sort of personality disorder and probably a bunch of other stuff too. **** it, what do they know.

    I started out using raw form opium every morning, and it was a godsend - my energy soared, and my outlook improved, and I could put in 12-14 hour days with nary a concern. My "employers" were amazed at the volta face, although I think a few of them sensed what was really going on. But, they didn't care, as long as the shit got dealt with.

    Since then, I've been surviving on a daily cocktail of drugs like paracodeine (or DHC, if you prefer), opium, valium, dextromethorphan (from tussin syrup, it acts as a potentiator for everything else). It's the only thing that keeps me sane and out of pain. When I run low of med's, the manic behavior starts up and I become very volatile. I have issues, but I know no cure for mental illness, so the next best thing is to just push back the symptoms and be the best father, husband, employee, son, whatever, you can be. What can you do? We're all stuck on this ride and there's no reason for any of to suffer when relief is a pill (or 4) or away that make it just bearable.

    I really have no patience for the anti-drug warriors. If you quit drugs and/or alcohol because it was destroying your life, I congratulate you and wish you all the best going forward. But, please, don't preach sermons to the rest of us. For some of us, our DOC's keep us out of the slammer or a padded cell at the Enchanted Kingdom, so please - just let us have our medicine, please!

    Enough, peace, out, have a great night, all.
    Last edited by GreenThumb; 01-09-2018 at 10:55 PM.
    Just Say "NO!" to Big Government

  8. i am the same way. It is too bad our dr's will never understand- expecially the anxiety part. Although i did read one article about opiates and the woman in the article said she was only normal when she took h for 5 yr's. I know that opiates give me energy , take away social anxiety which is crippling, lower my blood pressure, etc. But i doubt i will ever find a shrink that believes me. Parkinsons meds are a Godsend- but i know it is the opiates that are missing. WHen i asked my shrink how come vicodin woke me up at work- he did not know. WHen i said "how come it takes away my social anxiety/" He did not know. I read about one woman that flew to Germany 4 times a yr to be scripted them. I am waiting for a syn version of an opiod to come out. I guess there used to be one but i missed it- and then it became illegal. I have ADD too. opiates totally helped along with wellbutrin. We were born in the wrong era. SHould have been born in the early 1900's when opiates were scripted for depression.
    Likes jaders, petenyc, Anne Onomis, cris, ludwig1961 liked this post

  9. Quote Originally Posted by Joantesch View Post
    I think highly functional is possible
    I see it in the people I work with every day. On drugs yet doing it all right
    I used to be high functioning- when i took opiates and wellbutrin. I had endometrosis.
    I was so much better mentally. I could sit at a desk and learn.
    Although i still have some opiates i only take kratom. Kratom helps with my IBS and social anxiety but unfortuantly does not help with motivation or depression or learning ability. I read it was an overabundance of opiate receptors. I wonder if methadone or bup ( whatever it is). would do the same thing as real opiate? or are the opiae substitutes just like kratom? Ie- still no motivation, not much help with depression. IDK.
    Likes petenyc, Anne Onomis liked this post

  10. well since i have been reported to the mod- i would just like to say that all of you people should not give up hope. There might be a synthetic version of what you want someday. Always be on the lookout for a synthe. I hope this does not get reported. I read there WAS a synth version last yr or the yr before- when i was not looking- but now it has been banned. I can only surmise it worked well.
    Likes GreenThumb liked this post

  11. #210
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Hogwarts
    Posts
    654
    jaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud of

    Really enjoy and respect to the last few folks' postings here. @peteny. Wishing you the best. I really admire you being your own best advocate, researching what to do and obtaining what YOU feel you'll need. Think of how many folks might succeed with their own rehab plan if they could collaborate with a DR instead of just having to do what "you're told."

    @GreenThumb. I completely relate to where you're "living." You seem to be just another example of a person who knows what works best for his life, and yet can't live it without doing things that put one's life/livelihood at risk. It's so crazy. This arbitrariness that certain drugs are acceptable, and others are demonized, is so unwise of us.

    @sweetniko. I'm a little confused about your reference to synths. It's my understanding that many of the opiod pks are synthetic, if that's what you're referring to. If you're wondering if buprenorphine or methadone would give you the same help that opiates gave you, to me it's certainly worth trying as they might be more easily scripted than opiates, at least these days. I really believe there are brains that somehow need and benefit from opiates altho it IS obvious that it can become a runaway train for some folks. Maintenance meds seem to help a lot of folks alleviate that problem. I know one young man who was highly addicted to OC and is having great success with suboxone (buprenorphine.)

    My last thoughts are that I think we are basically living in the dark ages when it comes to the brain, addiction. and what drives the whole thing. I really do wonder what would happen if all drugs were legal and we were just held responsible for whatever ACTIONS we do - not just whether we take a drug or not. In other words, if one DOES choose to take a drug. it's up to that individual to research what/how the effects will be, and there's no room for blaming bad behavior on said drug. Would our whole society just become mired in zombie-dom, or would substances become less appealing because we COULD choose what we really truly want to consume to live, and not what someone else chooses for us.
    Helpful sweetniko, ludwig1961 Rated helpful
    The cause of all suffering is attachment...

  12. #211
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Earth, I think...
    Posts
    2,454
    petenyc has a reputation beyond reputepetenyc has a reputation beyond reputepetenyc has a reputation beyond reputepetenyc has a reputation beyond reputepetenyc has a reputation beyond reputepetenyc has a reputation beyond reputepetenyc has a reputation beyond reputepetenyc has a reputation beyond reputepetenyc has a reputation beyond reputepetenyc has a reputation beyond reputepetenyc has a reputation beyond reputepetenyc has a reputation beyond reputepetenyc has a reputation beyond reputepetenyc has a reputation beyond reputepetenyc has a reputation beyond reputepetenyc has a reputation beyond reputepetenyc has a reputation beyond reputepetenyc has a reputation beyond reputepetenyc has a reputation beyond reputepetenyc has a reputation beyond repute

    First it takes a lot of credit for anyone to post on this thread (not patting myself on the back).

    Quote Originally Posted by jaders View Post
    Really enjoy and respect to the last few folks' postings here. Wishing you the best. I really admire you being your own best advocate, researching what to do and obtaining what YOU feel you'll need.
    Thank you for the vote of confidence.

    @GreenThumb
    I feel like I'm going to serious regret this post tomorrow.
    I'm a very high functioning dependent/addict/whatever that means, and I've been this way since 2001, when my physical problems began and the fllodgate in my brain broke out and my demons escaped and began making me their personal bitch toy. I lost it mentally back in 2001, put a loaded revolver in my mouth and nearly pulled the trigger, but couldn't do that to my family. So, instead, I just numbed the pain as best I could.

    I really have no patience for the anti-drug warriors. If you quit drugs and/or alcohol because it was destroying your life, I congratulate you and wish you all the best going forward. But, please, don't preach sermons to the rest of us. For some of us, our DOC's keep us out of the slammer or a padded cell at the Enchanted Kingdom, so please - just let us have our medicine, please!
    There is no reason to regret anything said, it’s all valid for you. I can’t imagine what the feeling is like as anyone can’t put themselves in another’s shoes. And the forum is the right place to speak up.

    I also agree with you on the anti – drug warriors comment. By no means was my intent to stand on the soapbox and preach, only in my case show how narrow the line is that we all take. I hope it was not taken out of context or strike anyone’s nerve in a negative manner.

    As disciplined as I have been, I somehow managed to cross it and go from valid user to rec user. Just want to get it under control so go off it for a week, realign my system and habits and return to what is needed – not wanted. Deal with the pain during the process, the very low use of subs helps. Due to recent diagnosis a few months ago (I would rather not talk about), the pain sucks and it is needed, not wanted.

    Plans are to start again but get myself under control and not cross the line. Stay with whats needed and not a rec user.

    @sweetniko

    You will find the right combination that allows it if you have not.

    I was and still can do with the PK’s and other things I may take for different reason and maintain a high level of performance at work – just the right mix, amount and most important the mindset to make it work. It has all these years.

    For all of us it's the DR's the over prescribe. When called get the " hang in there, give it more time and we will see." Time to change DR's at that point. We are in control of all our actions we take, not them. As long as I can find the right combination - I / we hold the cards, not them.

    Until Big Pharma stops greasing the DR's, media and the politicians it will never end. The public turns a blind eye and is brainwashed. We are the unwanted and black sheep of society.

    But we are in control of are actions, can make our own decisions. And properly informed and educated can make the right choices.

    My best to all - Pete
    Likes jaders, GreenThumb liked this post
    A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life - Unknown. "Why don’t you knock it off with them negative waves" - Oddball / Kellys Heros.

  13. #212
    Quote Originally Posted by jaders View Post
    My last thoughts are that I think we are basically living in the dark ages when it comes to the brain, addiction. and what drives the whole thing. I really do wonder what would happen if all drugs were legal and we were just held responsible for whatever ACTIONS we do - not just whether we take a drug or not. In other words, if one DOES choose to take a drug. it's up to that individual to research what/how the effects will be, and there's no room for blaming bad behavior on said drug. Would our whole society just become mired in zombie-dom, or would substances become less appealing because we COULD choose what we really truly want to consume to live, and not what someone else chooses for us.
    So much this. We would probably have more ODs in the short term, but long term, with revenue to fund real treatment and with reduction of stigma, it would probably level off similar to what we see in European countries that focus on harm reduction, and we'd lose most all the side crimes - cartels, people stealing to fund it, ect. I believe firmly we should only punish the actions that cause harm, not punish what at worst boils down to a side-effect or medical condition.

    And even for those that OD... well, for myself, I'd prefer a painless death of an opioid overdose to being arrested, humiliated, thrown into a prison where I'd be treated like the lowest level of inhuman dirt and legally raped by cavity searches, even after out having my life entirely ruined and branded for life, out of a job and eventually facing homelessness and food insecurity, with what little safety net that remains closed off to me which wouldn't even be closed off to convicted murderers because of my crime being "the evil drugs." And as I've said before, probably wouldn't have made it this long without tramadol anyways, so even if I have a bad reaction and die from it one day, it was worth it, buying me extra time, and good years at that, ones where I could actually work full-time and enjoy my life.

    We really are in the dark ages with dealing with this stuff. You can actually draw a number of parallels between inquisitors in the old witch and heresy trials and modern drug investigations. Want to save yourself? Give up names, doesn't matter if guilty or not. That is just to start with. Those using any substances seen to, in the eyes of the puritanical powers that be and the masses, give unearned pleasure, are basically modern witches and those using them have made a deal with the devil in their eyes.

    On a sidenote, just started reading a book called Narconomics that argues that the best way to understand and combat the trade is to look at the drug lords and cartels as just another big business. Current policy will never work, even for those who really do want to put a stop to it. But part of me thinks they really don't want it to entirely work - they have to have a scapegoat to sacrifice to the rage of the public, and fodder for the prison industrial complex. Part of my paranoia in fearing a crackdown on OP buyers is, they need more fuel for the fire and have already plucked the easiest fruit. They need to keep the rage going. Whereas once we were victims of unscrupulous vendors, we will be framed as endangering our communities by importing possibly fent-laced drugs, addicts capable of any and all evils.
    Last edited by Anne Onomis; 01-10-2018 at 07:51 PM.
    Likes jaders, GreenThumb liked this post

  14. All I know is- my life was almost normal when i took 2 pills a day combined with Wellbutrin. I did this for about 14 yr's.
    WHen in severe pain i did not notice any benefits from the pills and hence- went through my 20's never taking a pill unless i was in great pain.
    THe pills woke me up, allowed me to concentrate and got rid of my social anxiety.
    I trully had a better life.
    The pills saved me from suicicide many times. Even last yr!
    I am thinking about asking mly shrink for a substitute for them- as they were the only things that motivated me to do anything.
    I could just go to an addiction med dr and say i am addicted- just take one to get it in my system and then get the substitute- i was informed that methadone was not a good route. If indeed you have to go to a clinic- I am too apathetic to do so every day. I still don't know if the other substitutes would give me the same drive, motivation that the original pills did. Hence I have not pursued it. I would think any "substitute" would not be as good as the original and hence could do nothing for me. For now- the kratom controls my IBS better than aything and also takes away my social anxiety. Still there is something missing. A large puzzzle piece missing. ANd i know what it is. It is an opiate. I joined a church ii hopes God will heal me. I want to have the Will to live- like everyone else. Frankly- after all the studies i have read- I still dont know why we can't use opiates theraputically. I was able to NOT increase my dose ( unless a terrible tragedy happened, like a death- then i would go back down to 2 pills a day). Not evryone who drinks alcohol is an alcoholic too- I liken it to that. For the life of me- i dont even know why our govt hasn't pulled all liquor off the shelves as it seems to me it causes way more deaths than opiates. But then i am a Libertarian. Glad my fahter- a physician was too. RIP. But i know my life would be 100% better if i could take 2 pills a day- again. Maybe in 50 yr's they will figure it out. Lets hopw so for that generation. In the meantime- I will look for a synthetic version every once and a while to make sure I don't miss out before the Gov't snatches it up. oh- and tramadol is knot the same for me. Tramadol is an antidepressant- it in no way motivates me. Or has the same effects.
    Helpful Anne Onomis, petenyc Rated helpful
    Likes GreenThumb, jaders, ludwig1961 liked this post

  15. #214
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    1,056
    Denman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond repute

    Well what the hell I guess I'll share... I was on methadone for over 15 years due to my H addiction. I stayed on the mdone for a few years to stay " clean" and did just fine. Then the hell of detoxing started when it came time to taper off, so I just stayed on a maintenance dose of it for a many more years. I hated myself for being dependent this way, trading one drug for another, etc and decided I was finally done, and getting off.

    I've been off methadone now for about a year and a half, and I hate life without it.... Go figure. After 17 months I still feel like crap. Constant fatigue, restless legs, insomnia and the awesome stomach issues haven't cleared up much either. I'm pretty well convinced my body needs an opiate of some kind to function now, and probably of my own doing from spending 20 years on them. So many days I just want to go back to methadone and feel human again. It's the humility of having to lower my head and crawl back to the same clinic that treats u like shit for being an addict while happily taking your money that stops me. That and having to go back to making daily trips their just to drink each morning and not being able to travel without issues etc. It was much easier for me before because I had take-home bottles "for good behavior " if you will, and only had to go in once a month and get 28 days supply. It's a tough spot to be in, I was proud of myself for finally kicking the stuff, and now I want it back so I can function again. Ah well, I guess time will tell where I go from here. I've been considering light opiates such as trams as a possibility, meh idk...

    @sweetniko - idk what opiate you were taking, but unless you are highly opiate tolerant I wouldn't recommend methadone or suboxone. Both are very powerful opiates, and I can tell you first hand kicking methadone is harder than any other opiate I've ever kicked. Also if you were to take something like an 8mg sub you'd have a good chance of OD. When you don't need them they have one heck of a kick.

    I also want to mention that there have been studies done with success using light opiates to treat depression. Good luck getting a doc in the states to sign off on it tho. I'm on a tablet now, but when I'm on my laptop later il post the abstract for anyone interested.

    @GreenThumb and @peteny - as mentioned above I can certainly relate. I've found it hard to go thru daily life without opiates. I do believe some people need them to balance brain chemistry that docs either don't understand or don't want to admit. Hate to reminisce about certain things but I remember a time I grew my own opium every summer. I can understand why it works for you Greenthumb, there's nothin like it. Lasts all day and no need to carry pills etc. And had a garden full of beautiful flowers every year...

    Best to all, and may we all find some kind of balance in this world.
    Den
    Likes jaders liked this post
    See the young man sitting in the old man's bar, waiting for his turn to die...

  16. #215
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Hogwarts
    Posts
    654
    jaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud of

    Quote Originally Posted by denman66 View Post
    Well what the hell I guess I'll share... I was on methadone for over 15 years due to my H addiction. I stayed on the mdone for a few years to stay " clean" and did just fine. Then the hell of detoxing started when it came time to taper off, so I just stayed on a maintenance dose of it for a many more years. I hated myself for being dependent this way, trading one drug for another, etc and decided I was finally done, and getting off.

    I've been off methadone now for about a year and a half, and I hate life without it.... Go figure. After 17 months I still feel like crap. Constant fatigue, restless legs, insomnia and the awesome stomach issues haven't cleared up much either. I'm pretty well convinced my body needs an opiate of some kind to function now, and probably of my own doing from spending 20 years on them. So many days I just want to go back to methadone and feel human again. It's the humility of having to lower my head and crawl back to the same clinic that treats u like shit for being an addict while happily taking your money that stops me. That and having to go back to making daily trips their just to drink each morning and not being able to travel without issues etc. It was much easier for me before because I had take-home bottles "for good behavior " if you will, and only had to go in once a month and get 28 days supply. It's a tough spot to be in, I was proud of myself for finally kicking the stuff, and now I want it back so I can function again. Ah well, I guess time will tell where I go from here. I've been considering light opiates such as trams as a possibility, meh idk...

    @sweetniko - idk what opiate you were taking, but unless you are highly opiate tolerant I wouldn't recommend methadone or suboxone. Both are very powerful opiates, and I can tell you first hand kicking methadone is harder than any other opiate I've ever kicked. Also if you were to take something like an 8mg sub you'd have a good chance of OD. When you don't need them they have one heck of a kick.

    I also want to mention that there have been studies done with success using light opiates to treat depression. Good luck getting a doc in the states to sign off on it tho. I'm on a tablet now, but when I'm on my laptop later il post the abstract for anyone interested.

    @GreenThumb and @peteny - as mentioned above I can certainly relate. I've found it hard to go thru daily life without opiates. I do believe some people need them to balance brain chemistry that docs either don't understand or don't want to admit. Hate to reminisce about certain things but I remember a time I grew my own opium every summer. I can understand why it works for you Greenthumb, there's nothin like it. Lasts all day and no need to carry pills etc. And had a garden full of beautiful flowers every year...

    Best to all, and may we all find some kind of balance in this world.
    Den
    Geez, @denman66. I feel very bad reading your story. Again, another example of someone that for some reason opiates supply something needed. I'm sure I'm not telling you anything you don't already know, but wouldn't sub be preferable to mdone since the hoops to jump thru seem less arduous and humiliating? I've been taking a low dose of opiates for just about 40 years (with only a few years' break here or there.) I take the same amount daily now that I took 40 years ago, blowing apart the notion that "addiction" is always progressive, IMHO... (BTW, I'm familiar with the raw form from beautiful flowers too. Anyone read Diary of a Poppy Pod Eater?) I've lately made up my mind that if I am somehow forced to abandon self-medicating, I would have to find a maintenance program as I just don't anticipate living with any quality due to the length of time I've supplied this to my brain. I absolutely can't stand the thought of turning over control of this to someone else, however.

    Like I said earlier, those who claim to be "in the know," when it comes to addiction and brain chemistry really know very little, again IMHO. Sure wish the powers that be would hold us responsible for our BEHAVIOR, not what drug we ingest...but that would require maturity on the part of human beings in general, and I think we're still a long ways away.
    Likes Anne Onomis, GreenThumb liked this post
    The cause of all suffering is attachment...

  17. #216
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    1,056
    Denman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond repute

    I have considered suboxone in the past, I tried several years ago to switch from methadone to suboxone. I went 3 days without any methadone (as you need to allow your body to be free of opiates before using it or it will clear them for you in the worst possible way- precipitated withdrawal) and started with a half tab (4mgs) as per docs instructions. After about an hour and a half and 12mgs of sub, I can't describe the hellish feeling, I thought I was gonna die. This wasn't hell, it was death warmed over with a side of hell. Even after waiting three days it still wasn't long enough to prevent the precipitated wd effect subs can cause. Shear agony. in total I felt horrible for about a week, including the three days I didn't have my methadone.

    After that experience I'm seriously mentally "traumatized" if you will. I have subs here now but just can't bring myself to touch em. Plus I don't need 8mgs now, I'm sure my tolerance is damn near zero now. Great thought and I thank you for the advice but I just can't get that one experience out my head.
    Helpful jaders Rated helpful
    See the young man sitting in the old man's bar, waiting for his turn to die...

  18. #217
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Hogwarts
    Posts
    654
    jaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud of

    Quote Originally Posted by denman66 View Post
    I have considered suboxone in the past, I tried several years ago to switch from methadone to suboxone. I went 3 days without any methadone (as you need to allow your body to be free of opiates before using it or it will clear them for you in the worst possible way- precipitated withdrawal) and started with a half tab (4mgs) as per docs instructions. After about an hour and a half and 12mgs of sub, I can't describe the hellish feeling, I thought I was gonna die. This wasn't hell, it was death warmed over with a side of hell. Even after waiting three days it still wasn't long enough to prevent the precipitated wd effect subs can cause. Shear agony. in total I felt horrible for about a week, including the three days I didn't have my methadone.

    After that experience I'm seriously mentally "traumatized" if you will. I have subs here now but just can't bring myself to touch em. Plus I don't need 8mgs now, I'm sure my tolerance is damn near zero now. Great thought and I thank you for the advice but I just can't get that one experience out my head.
    Just curious because I don’t understand how sub really works but in that instance would taking a “regular “ opiate have ended the withdrawals or are your receptors still blocked by the sub so the opiate can’t get thru anyway?

    Last thought. Have you ever looked into ibogaine treatment? I know it’s illegal in the states but there are affordable centers close by (perfectly legal) and the only time I was really happy and felt good without my opiate dose was for two years after ibo treatment. Unfortunately, medical problems drove me back...
    Last edited by jaders; 01-12-2018 at 04:31 PM.
    The cause of all suffering is attachment...

  19. Quote Originally Posted by denman66 View Post
    I have considered suboxone in the past, I tried several years ago to switch from methadone to suboxone. I went 3 days without any methadone (as you need to allow your body to be free of opiates before using it or it will clear them for you in the worst possible way- precipitated withdrawal) and started with a half tab (4mgs) as per docs instructions. After about an hour and a half and 12mgs of sub, I can't describe the hellish feeling, I thought I was gonna die. This wasn't hell, it was death warmed over with a side of hell. Even after waiting three days it still wasn't long enough to prevent the precipitated wd effect subs can cause. Shear agony. in total I felt horrible for about a week, including the three days I didn't have my methadone.

    After that experience I'm seriously mentally "traumatized" if you will. I have subs here now but just can't bring myself to touch em. Plus I don't need 8mgs now, I'm sure my tolerance is damn near zero now. Great thought and I thank you for the advice but I just can't get that one experience out my head.
    @denman66, I hope this doesn't like bad advice, but as long as you have been off the methadone, you might benefit from a weaker opiate, say a small-to-modest dose of codeine daily. Codeine is still available from a number of sources in pure form as a phosphate or mixed with APAP (in which case you need to do a cold water wash), and I use it when I can't get paracodeine or opium and it works just fine as a replacement (well, it's nowhere near as good as opium, but it gets the job done).

    That modest dose of codeine might be just the ticket for you, and if you had to come off that, it would not be as bad as coming off methadone.

    Just a thought.
    Helpful jaders Rated helpful
    Likes Denman liked this post
    Just Say "NO!" to Big Government

  20. #219
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    1,056
    Denman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond reputeDenman has a reputation beyond repute

    @jaders - suboxone is a combo of buprenorphine and naloxone. Buprenorphine is an opioid agonist/ antagonist. Like a dual edged sword so to speak, so if you don't allow your body to be free of opiates and in full withdrawal the antagonist properties will force a harsh flushing of receptors. Naloxone is an opiate blocker so the combo is understandable. Once in this state of precipitated wd there is nothing you can do to feel better other than wait it out. It's horrible. Took me a few days to get right again.

    Ibogaine- I did look into that many years ago, at least 10 or 12 years now. The folks I spoke too were based out of Florida, would take you out on a boat into international waters and perform the treatment. Seemed a bit sketchy to me so I never did it. Not sure I could handle tripping balls for 2-3 days anymore lol.
    I'd like to pm you if you don't mind, I'd like to pick your brain for moment if it's ok. Just click the "Like" button and I'll know it ok to shoot you a pm. I don't wanna bother you if you'd rather not discuss some personal things.
    Likes jaders liked this post
    See the young man sitting in the old man's bar, waiting for his turn to die...

  21. #220
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Hogwarts
    Posts
    654
    jaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud ofjaders has much to be proud of

    Quote Originally Posted by GreenThumb View Post
    @denman66, I hope this doesn't like bad advice, but as long as you have been off the methadone, you might benefit from a weaker opiate, say a small-to-modest dose of codeine daily. Codeine is still available from a number of sources in pure form as a phosphate or mixed with APAP (in which case you need to do a cold water wash), and I use it when I can't get paracodeine or opium and it works just fine as a replacement (well, it's nowhere near as good as opium, but it gets the job done).

    That modest dose of codeine might be just the ticket for you, and if you had to come off that, it would not be as bad as coming off methadone.

    Just a thought.
    I thought that too. I keep my opiates to cod now only and as low of a dose that I can get by on. Everything else just has a lot of drawbacks, not to mention it's the easiest and cheapest to find anyway... I've also heard of using low dose naloxone to actually stimulate the production of endorphins for people who've taken opiates for a long period - can't find anything about that on google now, but I remember talking to an MD about it once.
    Likes Denman, GreenThumb liked this post
    The cause of all suffering is attachment...

  22. High functioning/drug addicted
Page 11 of 12 FirstFirst ... 9101112 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 11
    Last Post: 01-31-2018, 07:08 AM
  2. The Lifelong Branding of (Former?) Drug Addicts
    By imnotcrazy in forum Face-to-face doctor consultations discussion
    Replies: 45
    Last Post: 03-27-2012, 01:39 PM
  3. Difference between drug dependency and drug addiction?
    By stoink in forum Overcoming anxiety, and all about anti-anxiety drugs and sedatives
    Replies: 40
    Last Post: 07-24-2011, 06:36 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Protected by Copyscape CopySentry. Do not copy.