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Thread: Dating Websites

  1. #1
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    Default Dating Websites

    I’ve a pretty disastrous relationship history and have been single for over a year. I’ve a lot of friends so I don’t think there’s anything wrong with me socially. I don’t have a ‘type’ either so I don’t think I’m being overly fussy.
    I’ve done the friends setting me up with their single friends/ colleagues/ brothers route and that’s ended up with me having more friends, great but not really what I’m looking for.

    Last week I joined a dating website which has a monthly fee, I got a free three day trial. The whole thing felt wrong and after trawling through the obvious married wanting a quickie, ones that wanted an open relationship and the ones that want you as an au pair I’m left looking at well not a lot really. Apart from my inbox is spammed and now unopenable.

    Any tips, ideas please? Anybody been in this position?

    Thanks.

    Victoria
    Last edited by Victory104; 06-10-2018 at 07:25 AM.
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    Dating Websites
  3. #2
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    craigs list and several others shut down their dating section which was free. There is still plenty of fish, grindr, and a few others which are popular and free. Do a search on free dating sites.
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    @Victory104, you didn't note the site you used, but many of them are a cesspit. Especially Match.dot.com. Do you really have a good idea what you're looking for in a "match?" Or do you feel like you're "flexible?" If the latter, most of the websites will be a huge disappointment, because so many people lie, about themselves and about their preferred matches. If setups by friends hasn't worked, the next best suggestion is volunteering on something that you really love, there are usually as many single people in such groups as non-singles. Or look for an "exclusive" dating site, if you can afford it. (The last friend I had who found a short-term boyfriend went to 'Farmers Only' dot com!! Heh.) Best of luck to you!

    Peace.
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    @Gullible. Thanks for your suggestions. I’ve looked at Plenty Of Fish and it’s certainly lively here in the UK! I will have a google for others. @calgal99. I signed up for a 3 day trial with eHarmony, I haven’t given bank details so they have continued the trial and I’m geting 100s of emails from guys globally, I can’t contact anybody until I sign the contract which I won’t be doing.
    I’m currently on holiday and am with a few diving parties, there’s a lot of singles but I’m a long way from home and I’m not looking for a long distance partner either.
    Whilst I don’t have a physical type I’m pretty clear on what type of personality and traits I’m looking for. I’ve written a list of what I really don’t want and will be vigilant.
    I like your suggestion of going to volunteer with like minded people, I’ll look into that when I’m home. Thanks.

    Victoria
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    Quote Originally Posted by Victory104 View Post
    @Gullible. Thanks for your suggestions. I’ve looked at Plenty Of Fish and it’s certainly lively here in the UK! I will have a google for others. @calgal99. I signed up for a 3 day trial with eHarmony, I haven’t given bank details so they have continued the trial and I’m geting 100s of emails from guys globally, I can’t contact anybody until I sign the contract which I won’t be doing.
    I’m currently on holiday and am with a few diving parties, there’s a lot of singles but I’m a long way from home and I’m not looking for a long distance partner either.
    Whilst I don’t have a physical type I’m pretty clear on what type of personality and traits I’m looking for. I’ve written a list of what I really don’t want and will be vigilant.
    I like your suggestion of going to volunteer with like minded people, I’ll look into that when I’m home. Thanks.

    Victoria
    @Victory104, my recollection is that eHarmony is a thinly-disguised religious-oriented site, geared for more "biblically-traditional" folks, if you get my drift... maybe that's okay for you, though, no judgement implied or intended. And I have zero-zed-nada experience with UK sites, too. Again, good luck and hope you find what you're looking for!!

    Peace.
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  7. #6
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    @calgal99

    Thanks for your input. I've still not signed up for it and am still reading the emails they send through. I'm not religious although I'm not against dating someone who is. I've a lot going on with moving so dating can't be my priority yet but I don''t think dating websites are for me; it just feels wrong.
    I prefer being introduced to someone via friends I think or meeting someone through a shared interest etc.

    Victoria
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  8. #7
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    Well they say it happens when you’re not looking and it sort of did! Whilst visiting my Mum after a family bereavement I went walking in the woods and met a farmer I know but hadn’t seen for a year or so. I hadn’t noticed the attraction before and I can’t see this going anywhere quickly due to my French being poor and his English being worse! I’m a bad communicator in personal relationships although a good communicator within a work/ team environment. I also don’t usually spend a lot of time in France but that could change!

    For me the online dating felt wrong, it felt a little like choosing a new vacuum cleaner, but I didn’t see the full picture as I didn’t part with any cash. I’m sure it must work for others. So good luck to anybody choosing that route.

    Thanks for other folks’ input.

    Victoria
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    After further investigation I find plenty of fish, match.com and most others are basically scams. At least for a man. Soon as you sign up they say all these people have looked at your profile but to see who it is you have to pay. Then they say another batch want to meet you, but you have to pay. I read reviews that said those were all imaginary and vanished soon as the sucker paid. Its expensive too. It may be free for females, not sure.
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    @Gullible
    Thanks for posting your findings. I’m working crazy long hours and haven’t had time to look at any sites nevermind key payment details and subscribe. I joined on a 3 day free trial and I’m still getting about 40 matches a day 2 weeks later! I too doubted they really exist, my inbox is spammed to full. So if anybody does join one of these I’d suggest using an email address that you don’t care about.

    Even if any of the male matches do exist I don’t ‘feel’ like they are matches for me: I’m getting guys who all work out 6 nights a week, have 3 kids, a fabulous career, 2 bull mastiffs and a Mother they thank for an ultra amazing upbringing. I can smell bullshit here and if I’m wrong just when are they going to have time to fit me in? I’m not convinced and although I’m in the UK I’m getting ‘matches’ from Australia? I don’t mind jumping on a plane but I’m not up for a 20 hour long haul on a first date!

    Victoria
    Last edited by Victory104; 06-20-2018 at 10:51 AM.
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    Dating sites, I can't say in general because I only tried one. I think it's a numbers game and it takes a lot of time which I don't have right now. It was sometimes fun, often boring and I didn't commit to actually meeting anyone as I was laid up in bed for a week ill. It did pass some time so not a total waste!

    Anybody who was curious / bored enough to subscribe to eHarmony - The cancellation period of 14 days does work and isn't hard to implement

    I much prefer to socialise to meet people in the flesh. It sure beats looking at a phone screen!

    V

  12. #11
    I met my husband on Match, 10 years ago now and still happy. I think it is a numbers game. When i was doing the dating sites i learnt keep online communications to minimum - just one or two quick exchanges, if they seemed alright i would meet for a quick Saturday morning coffee (always mornings so that my day wasnt overly interrupted cos like you I had a good full life) . The key for me was light-hearted approach without too much time investment. I think i got lucky as i met quite a few seemingly nice guys for coffee, but my now husband was the only one that got a second date. I think it is okay to be picky and it sounds like you have a good radar.
    Last edited by Marcie; 07-09-2018 at 07:47 AM.
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  13. #12
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    @Marcie
    That’s awesome! 10 years, the only second date you arranged: I salute YOUR radar!

    It took me a week of corresponding to realise that I don’t want a ‘traditional’ relationship! Two ‘responders’ asked me if I was prepared to change my lifestyle to accommodate them and I realised I’m not; I'm not ready to settle yet. My best friend said that I want to retain my cake and to eat it too. I think she might be right there.
    Definitely a numbers game and being VERY picky. I did learn a lot about myself during the process!
    V
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    My friend just met and connected with an atheist on eharmony, so they may be relaxing their standards.
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  15. My brother met his girlfriend now of many years on Match . com. He is a catch as is she and they are both in their early 60s.
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  16. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by Victory104 View Post
    @Marcie
    My best friend said that I want to retain my cake and to eat it too. I think she might be right there.
    And there is nothing wrong with that. I think as we get older we are simply clearer about who we are and what is acceptable to us.
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  17. I have used plenty of fish in the past ...there Is a kind of feeling being somewhat unnatural way to meet ...however in our very busy technological connected insular lives many of us lead ...hey we are here connecting online .....it is a successful way to meet people that’s not to say your gonna meet the girl/boy of your dreams but even the so called ‘natural way’ doesn’t come with any guarantee..
    Plenty of fish has numerous members from the four corners of the uk ...at worst your converse and flirt and at best you may possibly meet someone who may turn out to be the one ...happy fishing
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  18. #17
    My wife's sister meet a guy on the Internet 21years ago and they are happily married
    They say now 2 out 5 people that get married it's because they found one another on the internet
    Love is beyond social media

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    Quote Originally Posted by calgal99 View Post
    @Victory104, you didn't note the site you used, but many of them are a cesspit. Especially Match.dot.com. Do you really have a good idea what you're looking for in a "match?" Or do you feel like you're "flexible?" If the latter, most of the websites will be a huge disappointment, because so many people lie, about themselves and about their preferred matches. If setups by friends hasn't worked, the next best suggestion is volunteering on something that you really love, there are usually as many single people in such groups as non-singles. Or look for an "exclusive" dating site, if you can afford it. (The last friend I had who found a short-term boyfriend went to 'Farmers Only' dot com!! Heh.) Best of luck to you!

    Peace.
    “You don’t have to be lonely with Farmersonly.com!”
    @Victory104 a long time ago I used Eharmony and to be honest, it was a complete waste of money. I would’ve had a better and more successful situation if I had just thrown 3 $50 bills in a paper shredder. I’ve actually had more success meeting guys, the non creepy kind, through forums like this and Words With Friends! I swear it sounds lame but it’s true and it’s free. I never went into either with the expectation of meeting potential suitors lol it just kinda happened.. Maybe check out music forums or ones devoted to stuff you already like that way you’re meeting people that have similar interests and lots to talk about.

    I’ve made a lot of good friends on PR that are friends offline now
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  20. #19
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    @KarMar

    Farmersonly.com! Lol
    I agree with you about Eharmorny. The whole online dating thing didn't feel comfy/ didn't sit right for me: I found it really cringeworthy. I've had a weird 6 months and Eharmony (they are a P.I.T.A to get out of) was at the tail end of that period. I'm out of the dating arena for now. Definitely no plans to go near a farm (dirty fingernails and stink of cow shit didn't do much for me either!) and I will never take dating advice from my Mum again!

    Sorry for late reply; I'm not around here much these days.

    V
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  21. #20
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    Those places are like glue when you try to get rid of them. I clicked unsubscribe and they gave a message that it might take a week or longer to unsubscribe me. Meanwhile they kept sending advertising garbage for weeks and weeks. The "unsubscribe" button was just another scam like the whole site.

    Free my @$$, its only free to sign up then they tell you lies that 10 or 20 people want to meet you just in hopes you will pay the money. I hear that they keep charging you even after you cancel, I believe it.

    It used to be actually free but they all turned scammer

  22. Dating Websites
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