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Thread: My father passed away I am devastated ;(

  1. #41
    @Miss99. So good to hear from you. PM sent.
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  3. #42
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    Hi @Miss99

    (Before I you read this I was alerted I accidentally addressed this to the wrong person...I'm so sorry about that. I read this at 3am right before I was going to sleep & I have now words how I put the wrong name in, instead of yours. So if you saw this addressed to someone else I am truly sorry as my sentiments were genuinely meant for you.)


    I just saw this so I'm late to pass on my condolences but I do hope you are feeling a bit better. Losing your parent, your best friend is earth shatteringly devastating, never easy at any age or time. My dad was my best friend, my cheerleader in life. I always knew & felt that he loved me & my brother more than anything in this world. He made us the center of his universe & I miss him all the time, even now 20+yrs later.
    My dad passed about 4 mos after the accident that changed my life forever, destroyed my spine, put an immediate halt to the hard core training & competing I spent in 2 athletic arenas taught by Ex Olympians, training for Junior Olympics & other pretty big things. I had to drop out of going to the college I'd always dreamed about, all that I had worked for since age 7 was taken away in that moment. I never thought in a million years that my dad would pass very unexpectedly from a massive heart attack at just 47yrs old just 4 months later right before my 19th B-day. Those were some very awful times. 3 yrs later I lost my favorite grandma, my dads mom. It was horrible & nothing anyone really says makes the sting go away. It is nice to feel you have people there for you but as far as the huge bottomless pit it leaves in your heart & soul, only time can make that better. All these yrs later & I still cry at times, it's only natural.
    I don't know of your religious beliefs but what ever they are sometimes late at night I go on a walk by myself & just talk to God, Jesus, the Universe, my dad, grandma & all my loved ones who've passed telling them how much I miss them, love them & would really like to see them & I pray that they will come see me in my dreams. Sometimes it works but after the walk I've cried, gotten most of it out & by the time I walk back in the door to go to bed I feel a little better. I guess I think of it like free counseling in a way. Oh & of course you always have all of us here to talk to if you need to!

    Anyhow, I am truly so very very sorry for your loss & I hope you have a lot of good people in your life to help you thru this. At times, well a lot of the time unless they've gone thru the same thing, they'll say things with good intent but don't really know how it feels. Just know that they are there to support you. If you have things or hobbies you love to do, I've loved every creative outlet since birth so for me, I like to just be alone doing something creative I love & I especially love being w/my fur kids. You just have to remember to not isolate yourself, it will make it so much harder & that I am unfortunately speaking from experience too.

    Remember all the fun, the good, the laughs & special moments. Hang on to it tight. The love hasn't been lost, some day you'll see each other again & I do believe there is an essence of energy of some sort, even if it's minute, that they leave behind so watch for clues & keep a diary of things you've felt, found, gone thru. Yrs down the road when it's not so painful you'll be glad you wrote all the odd little things you did, saw, found or dreamt about. It will be nice to read thru it then & maybe you'll be able to connect some of the dots. I have tons of things that I wrote down that seemed a bit odd but I didn't place a lot of significance on them. Many yrs later when I found the diary I'd written in for yrs, forgot for yrs thru many moves, it was nice to sit down & read thru it. The crazy thing, much of the little things I thought were insignificant at that time, made a lot more sense when I was able to read them in a timeline sort of fashion, like all the pieces of a puzzle had been put together finally. It wasn't even something that I really liked doing at 1st, like it just made me feel more sad. But over a decade later when I read thru the whole thing for the 1st time all at once, it made me smile.

    I wish you & your family love & wellness. And, I am so sorry, if I could give you a hug right now I would, so virtual hug!
    Most important take really good care of yourself, take care of your mom, take care of each other. Your dad would want that as would all your family & friends, plus all of us too! I can't even fathom 45yrs. My parents are getting close to that time period too, scary.

    Again, I'm sorry I'm late w/this. I really do hope you, your mom & family are doing atleast a little bit better. Baby steps. As long as they are going forward it doesn't matter how long it takes. I wish you the best.

    Lots of hugs, blessings & prayers to you, your mom & dad.
    Take care,
    SP
    Last edited by sillypuppiez; 11-17-2018 at 02:27 AM. Reason: Made a mistake
    Likes amy43, VEDA, ohanes, Kon1er1986, vytis drakona liked this post

  4. @Miss99 I really hope things are looking up for you or at least getting a little bit better. And @sillypuppiez that was one of the best and most supportive posts I've read in this thread. Thank you for sharing your experience, strength and hope with us. I truly hope that anyone who has posted in this thread that has lost someone close to them is able to get through it without doing any kind of help do destructive things to nimb that pain. I say that because I was one of the unfortunate ones who turned to drugs and alcohol to numb the emotional pain I was feeling after losing my father. Positive vibes being sent to everyone and I hope you all have a happy Thanksgiving and can be grateful for what you have right now on life.
    Likes Stevo1, vytis drakona, ludwig1961 liked this post

  5. #44
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    It’s a couple of months ago it looks like but I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you’re doing well especially with holidays happening. *love and hugs*

  6. #45
    I am very sorry for your loss. My father passed away on Christmas, 12 years ago. I still miss him and wish I could talk to him one more time. He meant the world to me and I am so thankful that he told me I make him proud. He isn’t with me physically anymore, but I think of him during tough times and think of the advice he would give me. The love lives on.

  7. This is my first post and I hope I've done correctly.
    So sorry for your loss:

    My mother passed away in July and I'm still suffering but my GP doesn't want to know hence I'm on this website to look for some help with my sorrow.

  8. #47
    Dexter Smith is offline Banned Reason: Multiple forum accounts not allowed
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    sorry for everybody loses . i can understand because i been lost my father also. what we realize is life is very short spent it with love and affection. Its just 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. so fill it with happiness.
    Think healthy, eat healthy, exercise and have positive talk. These will enrich your life and make you better.

    God bless we all.

    regards,
    dexter
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  9. #48
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    @Miss99

    I am so sorry for your loss. Three years ago today my fiances father passed away in the middle of the night. I have never met someone who loved her dad as much as she did and does. It was an absolute shock. My fiance is still struggling with it today and I have shared her loss as best I can. She has realized that the pain will never go away, but the intensity softens to a degree. She says the pain means she hasn't lost his memory. The lighter side is, as destroyed as she was by this during these three years she has somehow managed to get engaged, start her career, and finish her master's. I don't know if anything I'm saying is helping, I just feel so much for you.

    If I may offer some thoughts based off what I've seen from her, and please disregard them if they are not welcome. I suppose I just need to talk a little as tonight I will be going through it all with my fiance. Stay close to those that support you. If they love you they will ride this wave with you. It's okay if you act out, if you call someone a little (or a lot) too late at night, or you displace your feelings; it's okay. Be easy on yourself. Don't be alone. You don't have take it all in right now. I'll pray for you.

  10. #49
    satnam is offline Banned Reason: Multiple forum accounts not allowed
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    hi @Dexter Smith!

    you are having nice and awesome thought process. good to listen you.

    satnam

  11. #50
    @Swishtabs my experience when loosing my father was that this kind of loss can make or break a relationship. Being able to express grief is important and one of the worst things you can say is “get over it “, because we all process grief differently.

  12. My father passed away I am devastated  ;(
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