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Thread: Cancer--Would anyone like some cheese with this whine?

  1. #101
    First, I’m not asking for sympathy.

    I just find sometimes a change in a diagnosis or a decision that needs to be made, or someone I love has a problem, or any of you are struggling and I don’t know what to do. I usually fumble around, come here for suggestions and think and think until I can come to an answer.

    I mentioned that I am scared, that I cry and I am changing —- declining. I don’t know who to discuss this with - a doctor? Maybe this is part of the process and I have been told that I might feel differently and react differently.

    I don’t have a religion, although I have my own thoughts about death. My father was a theologian and studied non religious beliefs as well, so I grew up in a home where believing in a god, not believing, or believing we have no idea, or we are here and we are made of stardust and energy and that carries forward are all ok and plausible. Love, reaching out to help and respect your neighbors was a strong belief. So a chaplain may or may not be helpful.

    Maybe I need to ask for anti-anxiety medication again. I wish I didn’t have to ask for what I need-I feel, I think about what it is I need, and feel and then ask for what I think I need, based on thinking! I’m not so sure, Ya know? Sometimes I want a mind reader . Guess I am very tired.

    Any mind readers? LOL
    Likes jaders, jakemoe, blueroan17 liked this post

  2. #102
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    jaders has a reputation beyond reputejaders has a reputation beyond reputejaders has a reputation beyond repute
    Quote Originally Posted by karuna View Post
    First, I’m not asking for sympathy.

    I just find sometimes a change in a diagnosis or a decision that needs to be made, or someone I love has a problem, or any of you are struggling and I don’t know what to do. I usually fumble around, come here for suggestions and think and think until I can come to an answer.

    I mentioned that I am scared, that I cry and I am changing —- declining. I don’t know who to discuss this with - a doctor? Maybe this is part of the process and I have been told that I might feel differently and react differently.

    I don’t have a religion, although I have my own thoughts about death. My father was a theologian and studied non religious beliefs as well, so I grew up in a home where believing in a god, not believing, or believing we have no idea, or we are here and we are made of stardust and energy and that carries forward are all ok and plausible. Love, reaching out to help and respect your neighbors was a strong belief. So a chaplain may or may not be helpful.

    Maybe I need to ask for anti-anxiety medication again. I wish I didn’t have to ask for what I need-I feel, I think about what it is I need, and feel and then ask for what I think I need, based on thinking! I’m not so sure, Ya know? Sometimes I want a mind reader . Guess I am very tired.

    Any mind readers? LOL
    I take it you're NOT on hospice? I know they definitely supply all those support qualities you seem to be hunting for? I would still think your doctor or the social worker at the hospital you use could guide you further. I'm so sorry it's this difficult for you tho. Life is certainly difficult to understand for me...
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    The cause of all suffering is attachment...

  3. #103
    I could be in hospice but I am waiting. The Palliative care program I use isn’t addressing these concerns, but perhaps I need to be more vocal about how I feel. Thank you @jaders
    Even though I wish I didn’t have so much to feel, think about and vocalize, I have to. You jogged my mindset and thanks for that. Maybe sharing more with my husband so he could ask for what I want and need too.
    Likes jaders liked this post

  4. #104
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    north19 is a splendid one to beholdnorth19 is a splendid one to beholdnorth19 is a splendid one to beholdnorth19 is a splendid one to beholdnorth19 is a splendid one to beholdnorth19 is a splendid one to beholdnorth19 is a splendid one to beholdnorth19 is a splendid one to beholdnorth19 is a splendid one to beholdnorth19 is a splendid one to beholdnorth19 is a splendid one to beholdnorth19 is a splendid one to behold

    Quote Originally Posted by karuna View Post
    @north19
    Thank you for understanding but please don’t think that my problems are bigger, I often fall into that mindset-I guess I wouldn’t want what some others must treat, live and cope with.

    You need to remember that there is only one of you and you deserve to be well and feel well. I hope that for you (Hugs).

    I find everyone here has been inspiring and very supportive and helpful.
    Thanks so much at @karuna that is very nice. Happy New Year and I hope your pain improves-you sound like a wonderful, kind person and I wish you all the best. Hugs back
    Likes karuna liked this post

  5. #105
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    jaders has a reputation beyond reputejaders has a reputation beyond reputejaders has a reputation beyond repute
    Quote Originally Posted by karuna View Post
    I could be in hospice but I am waiting. The Palliative care program I use isn’t addressing these concerns, but perhaps I need to be more vocal about how I feel. Thank you @jaders
    Even though I wish I didn’t have so much to feel, think about and vocalize, I have to. You jogged my mindset and thanks for that. Maybe sharing more with my husband so he could ask for what I want and need too.
    Obviously I don’t understand your exact situation but a person can go on hospice and then change their mind or even be on it indefinitely. However it usually “removes” anything they consider unnecessary to “comfort care.” I sure would discuss more if this with SOMEONE who has knowledge about all of this. I would think your primary care provider could help the most.

    May the universe shine its love and light on you today and always!!!
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    The cause of all suffering is attachment...

  6. #106
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    blueroan17 has much to be proud ofblueroan17 has much to be proud ofblueroan17 has much to be proud ofblueroan17 has much to be proud ofblueroan17 has much to be proud ofblueroan17 has much to be proud ofblueroan17 has much to be proud ofblueroan17 has much to be proud ofblueroan17 has much to be proud ofblueroan17 has much to be proud ofblueroan17 has much to be proud ofblueroan17 has much to be proud ofblueroan17 has much to be proud ofblueroan17 has much to be proud ofblueroan17 has much to be proud ofblueroan17 has much to be proud of

    @karuna I have so much to say to you and so little ability to express myself these days (so frustrating!!)
    But let me say this: you said in an earlier post you hoped you’d left a little sparkle in the world and worried that you didn’t.
    Well, you did. And continue to do so, post after post. The lift to my spirit, the insight you’ve given me during this hardest time of my life ... no, clearly you are not aware of your great impact but I thank you for it.
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  7. #107
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    You actually said spark of light; I changed it to sparkle. I get things mixed up & muddled so easily these days (my kids say “sure mom, because that *never* happened before you got sick, LOL”). And most of the time it IS funny... though not always.
    Anyway:
    You’ve brought both to me, light and sparkle. Many times. I am grateful and not confused at all about that!
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