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Thread: Is it always going to feel like this?

  1. #1
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    Default Is it always going to feel like this?

    I split from my ex Partner over the weekend and She means it this time I always used to try and get round it bcos she was well worth she had that diva princess personality if you guys know what am on about but she only had to flicker eye lashes at me and she would get what she wanted Also people okay, She was also pregnant with my cousins I went to all the scans with her the lot there was only a few where I had no sleep the night before and was popping 3-4 every day anyway We where only together 7 months, Reason being am gutted is bcos it was my cousins Girlfriend she wasn’t with him at the time and neither was so we thought why not, please don’t judge me on this either please folks.

    A know it sounds mad but anyway then we decided to tell the whole family well I did over text they where shocked at first but got round to the idea, Then she said she is moving into a new house to feel right for her with her having a little boy already (my second cousin) Yeah it’s just hit me all off a sudden was she text Monday this week and we where speaking for a bit and she just said “I hope you do find someone who makes you happy, You deserve it.”

    I just feel used to fill a gap if you get me, Like he was always waiting to get back with her. He was abbusive to her come in all sorts off hours full off class A drugs it’s like why go back to that? A said that loads to, She was good for me in my opinion she would put me out my comfort Zone with going to going places etc Plus she supported me through something’s a got warned she may be a level or two though with her been pregnant..

    I just feel used and be can’t telling people until they find out thereselves cos I’ll look a fool infront off the family, My mam and are In Thailand for 4 weeks so a can’t speak to them, Plus my symptoms off anxiety’s are back and are better than before, The shortness off breathe, The tight chest, The feeling iff really not been with my body a feel really floating like feeling that am in a dream 24/7.

    It’s just a nightmare it really is. Cheers people, Luke x

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    To answer your question - yes it will always feel like this if you allow it to. In your post, which was a little hard to read, you make it sound like your a passenger in your life - just going with whatever happens and not taking steps towards your own future and what you want. This is why you feel used - which happens to a lot of people. Perhaps its best to figure out what you want - write it down - make a plan and make it happen. You can't make someone love you - either they do or they don't. If they don't - don't worry - someone else will, but you may need to be patient. You may need to work on yourself - identify what you can bring to a relationship and why someone would want you as a partner. Its time for a change...or your doomed to repeat the cycle.
    Counting on someone else for your happiness is a recipe for premeditated disappointment.

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    Hey, @Smithy1 (Luke,) I imagine I'm quite a bit older than you, because I've had quite a few of these incidences over my life, including with spouses. I promise you, the most important thing is for you to find a (healthy) way to move on from this, and you will eventually find a real soulmate. Think about how many people are out there, and how many of them share your desire for a healthy, happy relationship based on real shared goals and interests. And don't sweat the family stuff, either - I'll never forget what my late Mother told me, when I finally divorced #2 (and she was a total peach throughout the marriage,) - "what did you expect from picking up a stray?" Just, please, don't let your regrets pile up, don't fall into a hole that you think can only be filled by self-medicating!!! Okay?? There are too many of us here, on this forum, who have BTDT, and you should know by now that you can reach out to many of us, if you need reassurance or a (positive) kick in your butt.

    You have been a great friend and helper to so many folks here, don't worry about reaching out for help, yourself, we are a very empathetic group of people.

    Peace.

  4. #4
    Godspeed Luke, I hope you get through this situation with best outcome, whatever should come to pass. It did occur to me that in one way at least you do have an opportunity here . . . to see for yourself that your best friends and family will stick by your side at a time like this. Given a chance, some people might surprise you with support and encouragement. While there are judgmental jerks in every family, I think it is often helpful to know who has a heart and who still has some growing to do in that department.

    Again, Godspeed to you.
    Last edited by Utopiate; 08-16-2019 at 03:38 AM.

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    Good Luck with everything @Smithy1 and how the situation you talked about turns out, I saw some very good advice given to you like @Artknowsme and @calgal99
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    Have a nice day.

  6. I know you are going through a tough time in your life, but remember everyone experiences this at least once in their lifetime. It’s part of being human. We live and we learn, and we move on to better things. It may feel like this woman was the perfect girl for you, but chances are she’s not. If the woman you’re with makes you feel like you’re being taken advantage of, then don’t waste your time with them. Take this as a learning experience as to what you’re looking for in a partner. Now you know you want a person who you can feel comfortable with no matter the situation, and more importantly someone who appreciates everything you do for them.
    The right woman will surely come along some day, and when she does you’ll wonder how any other woman meant anything to you in the past. In the meantime, do what makes you happy. Learn a new hobby, do some traveling, meet new people, live your life! Before you know it, it will just be another memory and stepping stone in the story of your life.
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    @Junepei Woww amazinggg Words, Im to soft when it comes to women I think it did seem like she was the perfect woman for me she still seems special in my eyes and she has been back in touch to say she loves me but she is back with my cousin and she is giving it a go with him because they have to for their family but she doesn’t really love him she has admitted it to me I said I will wait for her i it’s want this so bad with her I thought she was perfect for me and is bang on my type a can’t imagine been with anyone else, It hurts so bad. Thanks for your advice to @Utopiate @Calgall99 @Artknowsme
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  8. Quote Originally Posted by Artknowsme View Post
    To answer your question - yes it will always feel like this if you allow it to. In your post, which was a little hard to read, you make it sound like your a passenger in your life - just going with whatever happens and not taking steps towards your own future and what you want. This is why you feel used - which happens to a lot of people. Perhaps its best to figure out what you want - write it down - make a plan and make it happen. You can't make someone love you - either they do or they don't. If they don't - don't worry - someone else will, but you may need to be patient. You may need to work on yourself - identify what you can bring to a relationship and why someone would want you as a partner. Its time for a change...or your doomed to repeat the cycle.
    ______I understand when in a problem it hard to see clearly-----------but i feel all of the responses you got are GREAT and its from others who have been where you are but now out------and live has its many other issues to deal out-------but i love the above answer because its its true---as I find my worst enemy is usually myself ---and NEVER give up----
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    Quote Originally Posted by Artknowsme View Post
    To answer your question - yes it will always feel like this if you allow it to. In your post, which was a little hard to read, you make it sound like your a passenger in your life - just going with whatever happens and not taking steps towards your own future and what you want. This is why you feel used - which happens to a lot of people. Perhaps its best to figure out what you want - write it down - make a plan and make it happen. You can't make someone love you - either they do or they don't. If they don't - don't worry - someone else will, but you may need to be patient. You may need to work on yourself - identify what you can bring to a relationship and why someone would want you as a partner. Its time for a change...or your doomed to repeat the cycle.
    Tough love, but great advice and response.
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    Men, we already know the kind on power women hold over us. We must accept it going in and be ready if something goes wrong. This is just the way it is.
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    Men have the same power over women --why do you think we stay with you when things are horrible/possibly abusive. We love you but also tend to want you to change into what we want....dumb i know but it is true. We always think we can "fix" you. I don't feel that way anymore but when i was younger i did think i could change someone but know that i don't want to be changed and neither does my partner. You accept someone for what they are or you move on.
    I'm alone, I'm not lonely

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    Relationships are probably the most complex things we have to process. As humans, they create so many feelings and emotions that a person has to sort out. Its never easy...

    I think that some, not all let the emotions get the better of us and take over our lives. That can be either male or female. I've seen it happen to both. Hardest thing if that happens is to rationally work on whats real, whats not and distinguish what we really need against what we want.

    Piece of cake right??
    A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life - Unknown

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    Quote Originally Posted by petenyc View Post
    Relationships are probably the most complex things we have to process. As humans, they create so many feelings and emotions that a person has to sort out. Its never easy...

    I think that some, not all let the emotions get the better of us and take over our lives. That can be either male or female. I've seen it happen to both. Hardest thing if that happens is to rationally work on whats real, whats not and distinguish what we really need against what we want.

    Piece of cake right??
    @petenyc "What a great, sincere, and honest post" ! (I would give you a "helpful" if I could, or a 5 star rating on
    the words from your post..........IMHO some things in life, just like you addressed so clearly, in real
    life, one can read for self improvement, one can take courses such as many university courses from
    "marriage & family" to every thing in Psychology from the A to the Z, one can go thru the stages of
    life, (8 stages of growth Eric Erickson) with back to back "relationships" .......................................

    in my case some "dysfunctional" (worn out of that over used word)...but I now do believe especially
    in your very last sentence......WORD FOR WORD ! (one of my daily mantras) "I use to work on my
    balance in life"......."give me what I need & not what I want" ....so easy to say, not so easy to place in
    action..............

    finally ......your shout out "a piece of cake, right"? make all your words (personally so meaningful)
    as you have a blessed sense of humor, (as I realize your point on those very last 5 words you stated)

    In my adult life, covering now so many years, of "relationships" especially with once romantic
    partners, I don't care what category one "labels" if it is a long term live in, or one's sexual preferences,
    (as I am traditional....heterosexual...( I am male "my most powerful & meaningful relationships",
    be it what I called "being in love" (from my 20's) then with another woman (that I once placed on a
    pedestal) in my 30's, as in many ways she saved my life, but, my feelings were so complex, I call

    cognitive dissonance ......I truly did love this person, but, I could never make her happy,
    (in many ways it was not her fault) the only way in the end, in my case I had just turned age 40,
    was ( escape from the relationship, & I knew I had to geographically move, across the entire USA
    to start over.......Hate the word abandonment.....one of the hardest things (as I hit the age of 41,
    was to move out, of a 7+ year long term relationship...and move 2,000 miles away...................
    facts are she did quickly officially re-marry a man of immense wealth, (IDK if she is really "happy"
    but my comfort, is she has the vast lifestyle she craved from all of her heart, ( mansion in a very
    high end zip code, in a famous SW town.......with two full size poodles, and, she has never had to
    work one single day, in the past, 20+ years........some people crave material possessions, as I
    certainly have played my part in these false gods.....yes creature comforts are nice, very nice....

    but will that really make one happy? in the end, I have learned the hard way from a old saying...
    "material possessions don't mean a thing, unless one has someone to share those things with" ...

    Likely my fate is I am better to be alone but try to be not be lonely. A piece of cake, right ?

    Last long term "relationship" was a long term official "marriage"......it appeared to start out so
    culturally "perfect" (such as looking good,(to the outside world) to the proverbial "Jone's" .......
    in the end we both did the best we both could, almost the envy of my so-called friends, but,
    great travel partner, great trust from spiritual, psychological, physical intimacy, both of us
    attained many (so called things) certifications, educational attainments, multiple cars, a
    enhancing portfolio, fantastic place to live, accumulation of ...well material comforts.......etc...

    Stlll it was not enough, as again, like relationship in my 30's, guess I never learned from my
    mistakes from my past, thus, when I hit age 50....in my case things all went downhill...ending
    (in hindsight, a very devastating divorce, (on both sides) emotionally, financially, spiritually,
    psychologically, many times many are blinded for what one wants to be "love" when it maybe is NOT..

    In my case ex-wife moved directly across the street, directly in view of a condo we once owned
    together, I live in condo #2 she lives in condo #1, the post divorce pain was devastating to BOTH
    of us, this time my ex partner (wife) in my case did the same thing I did almost 20 years earlier,
    she moved 550 miles away, sold both her two homes at great loss, lost her highly regarded career,
    etc etc. as I lost a lot as well. (this went on for 3 solid years after a final divorce..and my ex
    I do believe likely really hates me. It was again in hindsight not (real love).....just two people
    who were mis-matched.....from many reasons, from also both of our childhoods. etc etc.

    The hardest lesson, in life to me, personally is distinguishing "fantasy" from "reality" as from my
    original college so called "first sweetheart" many many years ago, I finally did let go, almost 40
    years later, from a face to face reunion, for one week in USVI December of 2016. Again on the
    outside (superficially looking good, "location, creature comforts, final step up" for our final IMHO
    time we will ever speak again...........it was done with grace & dignity, but, emotionally, it did not
    hit me emotionally, as hard as returning back to my home, letting go of a adult perhaps fantasy

    of restoring what I thought once was my true "love"........(from a former financ'e)sp? in the 1970's)
    sent me for one solid year (2017) took all of my strength, to stay alive, from a Major Depressive
    episode, but, I would rather be told the truth, of what "I need to hear, rather than what I
    want to hear" my lesson learned. ( a relationship breakup can be done with grace &
    dignity, or can be done with the wrath of h*ll).........

    just my 2 cents worth...............
    Last edited by El Grandote; 09-04-2019 at 02:33 PM.
    "Death is not the greatest loss for life. The greatest loss is what dies inside of us while we live"
    Norman Cousins

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    @Whisperliner L1011

    Thanks I appreciate the compliment. I hear you on your post. It’s never easy and it is so hard to distinguish. Going through a difficult year or so myself when it comes to feelings (I hate that word) and have finally seen the light, I hope.

    The short story is I have been medicating for the better part of my adult life. And over 20 years ago I dated a woman who it did not work out with – but we stayed friends after seeing each other. During this time we have seen each other several times and when one wanted to get serious, the other pushed it away.
    Last time we spoke as friends it was a nasty blowout which I told her I never wanted to see or speak to her again – that was 2010. I always loved her and cared for her but could not deal with my STUFF.

    Fast forward 2016 when she reached out to tell me she was going into the hospital for major surgery. Talk about the feelings ……scared shitless for her, concerned, do I still care for her as more than a friend and do I visit her (not sure if she wanted it also did NOT want to know if she was seeing anyone if he came to visit) it was beyond what I was capable of dealing with. Talk about a responsible man, it’s sad. I don’t know what I would have done if something happened to her. It hurts to think about now.
    We stayed in touch through the hospital and a short time after. Then both drifted off.

    Last year I spoke with and wanted to meet, which we did. I told her I was sorry for my actions toward her and just wanted her to be happy in life, and hoped she would find a man who deserved her – still not dealing with my STUFF about her.

    We stayed in contact and she has been there for me in a huge way. Then I cleaned up my act and stopped medicating and was forced to deal with my feelings, oops I mean STUFF. Don’t worry I will not stand on soap box and preach the “evils” of prescription drugs and self-medicating.

    Recently I was able to sort it all out and we had several long conversation, including telling her about my "abuse of meds". And to my delight we are going to take it slow, very slow and try again. We have had more meaningful and deep conversations in the past few weeks than we have had in over 20 years and I have never been so happy that I have her back in life and we can possibly have a future together.

    Bottom line I am open and honest with more than I have ever been with anyone or especially the only woman I see a life with. And she has not run off and is open with me as well. I have a ton of work to do on myself and she will be there for me. I am grateful beyond words. Worst case is she will always be a friend first and if I do my part, a partner forever.

    Yeah, this is the short story…………Sorry about the long read.
    A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life - Unknown

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    @Whisperliner L1011@petenyc Now that is truly great post. A lot of thought and true feelings. Thank you so much.
    Last edited by ludwig1961; 09-04-2019 at 06:12 PM. Reason: brain damage I guess
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  16. @Smithy1
    I'm sorry to read you were hurting and I hope you're starting to feel even just a tiny bit better. I'm not going to go anywhere near giving partner advice; remember the fun times and don't look back. Never harbour ill feeling, get up, dust yourself down and find fun and laughter. You've had some beautiful replies, I hope they've helped.
    Somebody else is out there for you and it does happen when you're least expecting it! V
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    WE is always stronger than I

  17. #17
    @Smithy1
    I don’t know if this will be particularly helpful, but your original post, brought back some serious memories. I was in a relationship, in my very early twenties. My girlfriend at the time, was poison, but was always faithful. She ended up on a group trip, and one of my supposedly closest friends, walked into her room, buck naked, and thought she was up for that. She threw him out, and called me, and of course I never spoke to “my friend” again. Anyway, infidelity was always a deal breaker, with every relationship I ever had. I am not necessarily proud of this, but in another relationship, with another gal, her friend talked her into a double date, with another guy, that I knew, but didn’t like. The friend was harmless, but I had suspicions about my girlfriend. I talked her into admitting what happened, and while it wasn’t as bad as it could have been, it was bad enough that I ended it on the spot. As crazy as this stuff works, the friend ended up as a secretary in my company, and was, in my mind, totally out of my league. She was stunning, and when I saw her again, 15 years later, she was still stunning, and her daughter was so gorgeous, she was a longtime partner with a famous athlete, that is so famous, his name is a household word, and not just in the US. So meanwhile, the secretary actually told me that she loved me, and always did, since she met me. I was married at the time, and monogamy is a two way street, so nothing came of it, but I was extremely tempted.

    Part of the reason I bored everyone with this is the prior posts, saying how complex this stuff is, is “Church.” (That’s a Breaking Bad reference).

    Anyway, what caught my eye was the “eye flicker” you mentioned. The first girlfriend, as I said was a bad influence, ended up getting me mixed up with the wrong people, had me quit a dream job, that I lucked into, and had me up all night partying, and while it was extremely fun, and pleasurable, it was destructive, and I could see myself spiraling out of control. I broke it off, maybe 4, or 5 times, but all she had to do was show up at my door, with tears in her eyes, and I was done. I was back with her in my arms.

    I am certainly not suggesting this as any kind of advice, but I put myself on an airplane, (with two friends that both backed out last day), so I went alone. I moved 1,500 miles away to a new place, just to get her out of my life. I could not protect myself from her tearful visits, without having the resolve to make it impossible. The point of this was, as others suggested, is to make up your mind, and do it with resolve. Make a plan, and hold yourself too it. I am not judging you, I am actually sympathetic to how much your mind can betray you. I don’t know how I had the balls to move to another state, especially because I was 20, or 21 years old, and if anybody that age asked me for advice, it wouldn’t be what I did. I could have moved twenty miles away, and accomplished the same thing. But, my journey worked, I got her out of my system, and eventually came back home, because I missed my friends, and family. I did move back to a slightly different location, and purposely never saw, or spoke to her again. Good luck, I hope you can move on.
    Last edited by M77; 10-14-2019 at 03:51 PM.

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