Family Thanksgiving this year?

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SCED

Member
Joined
Sep 13, 2020
Posts
39
November greetings all:
Posing a question that I am quite split over personally.
When we lived in NJ, I would fly my oldest son, my daughter in law and their 3 kids (currently 6,8,10) from North Carolina to our house for Thanksgiving.
My youngest, who is 29, would come from NJ with which lady friend he was dating at the time, plus a couple who are my wife’s friends since High School.
Now that we are in SC, with a larger home, and my NC-based son and his family can drive here in about 3 hrs, my wife’s friends from HS live around the corner from us is SC, only my youngest and his current signficant other girlfriend have to fly from NJ, which I already handled using airline points.

So the table is practically already set for 11 people including my wife and me. BUT at 66 and 65 years of age, my wife is getting nervous about all the potential COVID carriers, primary worried about my NJ son and his gf flying here.

I can do some distancing during dinner by putting the kids and me around the kitchen table while the rest sit in the dining room. We’ve agreed to frequent hand washing and masks (obviously while we not eating), but my wife is getting nervous.

I’m wondering if anyone is changing their traditional holiday plans, especially due to the recent uptick in cases.

Please share your feedback.
Thank you!
SCED
 

jaders

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Feb 1, 2012
Posts
1,933
Personally if you see how completely exploded this virus is all around the country, and what the CDC recommends- I would skip this year. We’re not too far away from an effective vaccine hopefully. It just seems like the price can be very high for a single day event that you can easily have in the future? They say the spread is happening heavily among families now as well.

Just my thoughts. I’m certainly not doing anything big this year - that’s for sure

good luck with whatever you do!
 

pythagorean

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Mar 26, 2014
Posts
117
My gut reaction is that it too many people. I would keep gatherings small this year. Perhaps have an intimate thanksgiving with a few people and spend Xmas with the others. Large gatherings increase the likelihood that many get infected. Smaller groups can still pass it but may discover it and be able to self isolate before further spreading. As for your own safety, remember, yes, it sucks, but statistics are on your side.

Im fairly torn between “life must go on” and making major concessions due to the pandemic so I guess I end up somewhere in the middle: yes, life goes on, and in times of crisis we hold on to those we love even tighter but increasing risk to yourself and your family should not be done casually. Think carefully about how important it is that you get together now then decide.
 

creewillow

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Nov 18, 2014
Posts
136
Thanksgiving is the biggest holiday for my family. It’s the only one we all still get together for, without exception. We just made the decision to not do it this year. Our parents are in their early seventies and we do not want to take the risk. I work in the medical field and we have weekly advisory meetings with an epidemiologist and infectious disease specialist. The #1 culprit for transmission right now is family gatherings. Weddings and funerals top the list, which makes a lot of sense when you think about it. Both are very emotional occasions where people tend to embrace and hug. Any sort of gathering right now is just a bad idea in my opinion.
 

SCED

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Sep 13, 2020
Posts
39
Thanks for the replies everyone.
Warning LONG answer follows. You might want to schedule this if you have trouble sleeping🥱.
Here’s the current plan so we can still enjoy the traditional Thanksgiving.
1) My youngest and his gf had Covid tests and received results today. All negative! Now I realize we are still 2 weeks to go, but they both live and work from home alone (2 different homes), so their likelihood is lower than people who have to take public transportation or work outside of their home. For the plane ride to SAV, I was able to get them priority seating on a regional jet that has 1 seat on the right and two seats (for them) on the left. I’ve arranged for their travel to EWR airport from a friend of mine who is as close to a hypochondriac as you can get. He Lysol’s his car interior every day. He’ll also pick them up. While they are on the plane, they will wear their triple ply masks and gloves. No drinking or eating and make you your bathroom needs are taken care of before you leave. When they arrive at SAV, they will put on fresh masks and use hand sanitizer before getting in my car. My wife and I will do likewise. We’ll Lysol spray their carry-on luggage and leave in the garage for several hours. BTW, according to United’s website, they are requiring all customers boarding their flights to wear masks - but there are many who refuse and I don’t think they’ll have any means to enforce it. But they also claim to have installed fresh air filters to minimize recycled air. If I can’t see it, I know better than to believe it, BUT if there was any tracing back to a United flight I think we would have heard about it. Once they are inside my house (they come in Monday), showers, masks and regular hand washing is in order. They have a room on the other side of the house with their own shower and bathroom.

2) We’ve set up three tables for distancing for my eldest arriving on Wed with his wife, and 3 kids (6,8,10). They have a 3 1/2 drive to my house so I cannot expect them to wear masks the whole time but they have agreed to use hand sanitizer during the trip, and I trust they won’t need to make any stops in advance of arriving at my house. My son absolutely hates truck stops (especially one’s with McDonalds). Just like the youngest, all luggage gets sprayed with Lysol and left in garage until it dries. He’s almost as a hypochondriac as my buddy driving my son to the airport.
3) As mentioned, we’ve set up three tables for 11 people. Oldest, his wife and 3 kids have their own table for meals. Husband and wife will sleep in their own room with their own shower and bathroom. 3 kids will share an oversize room that has been cleaned, everyone has fresh sheets, and they bring their own pillows from home.
3) Once more the three tables will be set up in a triangle so everyone can (sort of) see and chat with each other. We have a large screened in porch and so the ladies (after the kids are in bed) will enjoy their after-dinner (and before and during-dinner) wine. The gents will sit on four chairs set up in the living room to watch football and chat. Fortunately we are all tea tottlers. My son and gf will sleep at our friends house who live about a half mile away.

4) On Fri after T-Giving, assuming it’s not raining, we’ll take the grandsons and my sons crabbing off a local pier. There’s not much to it and I like to try and keep them outside and away from crowds and since the community I live in is 65+, the piers are usually empty, and it’s long enough that unless EVERYONE brings their visiting grandkids there, it will be easy to manage.

Long answer to say thank you for the replies, and to be honest, this is still NOT set in stone. To be perfectly honest, I would not be surprised to hear my married son pass on the visit. We have been to their home in NC twice since moving to SC. Their anxious to come and visit and see the new house. But this has happened before when I bought them plane tickets to come when they only had one child and they decided the weather in NJ was too “dicey” when we lived there.

So THANK YOU for the feedback. I don’t want anyone to think I’m not paying mind to your feedback. Keep ‘em coming, PLEASE! In fact, if you can come up with ideas beyond what I described DO let me know. I appreciate the input and actually think we might be able to safely pull it off, but please keep sharing.
Ed
 

SCED

Member
Joined
Sep 13, 2020
Posts
39
Thanksgiving is the biggest holiday for my family. It’s the only one we all still get together for, without exception. We just made the decision to not do it this year. Our parents are in their early seventies and we do not want to take the risk. I work in the medical field and we have weekly advisory meetings with an epidemiologist and infectious disease specialist. The #1 culprit for transmission right now is family gatherings. Weddings and funerals top the list, which makes a lot of sense when you think about it. Both are very emotional occasions where people tend to embrace and hug. Any sort of gathering right now is just a bad idea in my opinion.
Thank you. I have already had the conversation especially with the grandkids, that there are no hugs and kisses. And my son and his wife have reinforced that message.
 

creewillow

Senior member
Joined
Nov 18, 2014
Posts
136
Thanksgiving is the biggest holiday for my family. It’s the only one we all still get together for, without exception. We just made the decision to not do it this year. Our parents are in their early seventies and we do not want to take the risk. I work in the medical field and we have weekly advisory meetings with an epidemiologist and infectious disease specialist. The #1 culprit for transmission right now is family gatherings. Weddings and funerals top the list, which makes a lot of sense when you think about it. Both are very emotional occasions where people tend to embrace and hug. Any sort of gathering right now is just a bad idea in my opinion.
Thank you. I have already had the conversation especially with the grandkids, that there are no hugs and kisses. And my son and his wife have reinforced that message.
I wish your family the best of luck in staying healthy! Two ideas to consider: a UV sanitizing light for your suitcases and Nozin Nasal Disinfectant. We use the lights in our surgical center, and the local hospitals where I am use them as well. You can get reasonably priced ones on Amazon. They sell Nozin too. Certainly can’t hurt!
 

Lumo

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Oct 4, 2011
Posts
675
When inside, perhaps think about keeping windows open, even just an inch or 2. If it is cold out this might not be good for the heating bill. However, air change in the romm is considered to be very important.
 

SCED

Member
Joined
Sep 13, 2020
Posts
39
Thanksgiving is the biggest holiday for my family. It’s the only one we all still get together for, without exception. We just made the decision to not do it this year. Our parents are in their early seventies and we do not want to take the risk. I work in the medical field and we have weekly advisory meetings with an epidemiologist and infectious disease specialist. The #1 culprit for transmission right now is family gatherings. Weddings and funerals top the list, which makes a lot of sense when you think about it. Both are very emotional occasions where people tend to embrace and hug. Any sort of gathering right now is just a bad idea in my opinion.
Thank you. I have already had the conversation especially with the grandkids, that there are no hugs and kisses. And my son and his wife have reinforced that message.
I wish your family the best of luck in staying healthy! Two ideas to consider: a UV sanitizing light for your suitcases and Nozin Nasal Disinfectant. We use the lights in our surgical center, and the local hospitals where I am use them as well. You can get reasonably priced ones on Amazon. They sell Nozin too. Certainly can’t hurt!
Thanks! Checking in to them when I get home.
 

SCED

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Sep 13, 2020
Posts
39
When inside, perhaps think about keeping windows open, even just an inch or 2. If it is cold out this might not be good for the heating bill. However, air change in the romm is considered to be very important.
Absolutely! It was something I would have mentioned but I already wrote the equivalent of “War and Peace” 😆
 

rainey51

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May 24, 2011
Posts
812
I wish my entire family lived closer and we would all be together for Thanksgiving, wouldn't it give it a second thought. The influenza can be deadly too and that never stopped anyone before so why should this? Because the government, says so? Nope! I would rather live normally than live in fear, that's my personal choice and my family can make up their own minds. These politicians aren't even following these ridiculous guidelines, why aren't they scared? Maybe they know something we don't? Like it's being used for control and fear propaganda? Just my thoughts and yes I have family members that work in the medical field and they share my point of view. At any moment life can end for anyone so why would we want to miss out on time together?
 

Zenak

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Aug 1, 2014
Posts
111
Obviously everyone (especially in the US) has their own take on the topic, and no one is going to change anyone else mind.

All I can say is that I tend to think the scientists are right, and gatherings being avoided will save lives. I don't think someone that makes MEMEs for a living has a handle on epidemiology.

Do what you think is best.
 

rainey51

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Joined
May 24, 2011
Posts
812
Obviously everyone (especially in the US) has their own take on the topic, and no one is going to change anyone else mind.

All I can say is that I tend to think the scientists are right, and gatherings being avoided will save lives. I don't think someone that makes MEMEs for a living has a handle on epidemiology.

Do what you think is best.
I appreciate your views and believe everyone has the right to their feelings, totally agree no one is going to change anyone else's mind too. I'm not sure what your MEMEs comment is though but whatever.
 

Zenak

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111
It was a reference to social media. People are getting really worked up over it, and some of them have been pretty funny...
 

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SCED

Member
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Posts
39
Obviously everyone (especially in the US) has their own take on the topic, and no one is going to change anyone else mind.

All I can say is that I tend to think the scientists are right, and gatherings being avoided will save lives. I don't think someone that makes MEMEs for a living has a handle on epidemiology.

Do what you think is best.
I also agree with scientists. I have not approached this willy-nilly and have three generations agreeing to take precautions including wearing masks and washing/disinfecting hands. Everyone will take showers upon arriving. We’ve (thanks to a prior reply) begun airing out the house until the sun goes down.
Fortunately we are in South Carolina where it warmer than the North. My biggest concern is my son flying from NJ with his girlfriend. He would have the most exposure and he’s arriving Monday which gives them time to toss out old masks worn on the plane, disinfect his hands and of course, we’re checking temperatures frequently. At even the HINT of any symptoms has plan B which is a rental house around the corner or a hotel room at the local Marriott.

I am investing in a clean, germ free home and clean germ-free family. We’ve set up tables for dining so there is plenty of space during meals.
If I make a mistake, I will let you all know. However, during the last 6 weeks, I’ve had workman in our home doing renovations. Almost no one spoke English, yet I made it clear that masks were to be worn, and not the “roll-up scarf” type. I provided fresh surgical masks to the crew every day. I provided them with water and made sure the empty plastic bottles went into the recycle bin outdoors. Occasionally someone would need to use the restroom. As “gross” as my wife thought it was, I would wipe down everything with Lysol spray and gave them paper towels after they washed their hands that went to the recycle bin. I can’t say it’s perfect, but it’s everything I can think of and (like leaving windows open all day) I hadn’t thought of has been and continues to be done. Oh and EVERYONE, adults and children have had flu shots and COVID tests over the weekend.

Other than putting everyone in haz-mat suits, I’m not going to miss spending time with my family since this may be the last time until NEXT Thanksgiving!

Keep the feedback coming please!
Ed
 

calgal99

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Aug 22, 2015
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I just read about some plans that NY universities (and some others) have recommended, related to kids coming home for the holidays. They recommend 1) a Covid (neg) test) 5 days before leaving their current place; 2) another 5 days of virtually-total quarantine after that; 3) after travel back home, another 72 hours (3 days) of quarantine (zero interaction with family); then 4) another Covid test, to come back negative. So, it's basically a more detailed version of the 14-days' isolation/quarantine that the CDC has been recommending for quite a while, now. @SCED, you might be okay cutting a couple of days off that time frame, but your plan doesn't sound all that safe, unless you are also able to move everybody outside the house for the meal, plus limit inside interactions to under 15 minutes total.

I admit to being very conservative about Covid exposure, and even more so given how close we seem to be to one or more vaccines, that should allow us to resume something closer to "normal" life next year. And where I live, Covid is not that bad because people are more spread out. But I would not want anyone in my family to die, just because we wanted to have a TG together.

JMO.
 

SCED

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Joined
Sep 13, 2020
Posts
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CalGal, I welcome ALL opinions. The same “if were outside” thinking is why, from what I have read, the North and South Dakota bike events have likely produced the upsurge. So eating outside vs spread out inside makes more sense to me.

This may sound like another bonehead idea by me but as much risk as there is in having everyone here, it’s worth mentioning that because I’m over 65, I (and my wife) we decided to vote in person early - the Thursday before Tues - Election Day. We live in a community of 8,000 homes all of whom are at least 55 most are over 65. Because we were concerned about waiting on long lines, we chose Thursday. We stood in pouring rain we hadn’t expected, for 2 1/2 hours. While we had masks on and tried to maintain distancing, the couple behind us and more than half the people standing in line, could care less. So when you add up the risks (we’re both 65+), I’ve had cardiac stents inserted in 3 of my arteries, my wife had skin cancer that required surgery, we’re standing in a line of 200 strangers, most of whom didn’t think masks were necessary (“because we’re outside”), and today at 3:30PM, we are having a second COVID-19 at our doctor’s office.

Please understand I’m not suggesting we’re “immune” but distance and masks and hand sanitizing seem like the most we can do as I’ve described.

I am aware of, and with some continued good advice from nice people here on this board, I have a high level of confidence that I’m doing everthing possible to make sure everyone is healthy.

I remain open to suggestions for anything anyone thinks I can improve.

Truly, I thank you all for your feedback and suggestions.
Ed
 
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sara22

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Jun 6, 2014
Posts
919
I wish my entire family lived closer and we would all be together for Thanksgiving, wouldn't it give it a second thought. The influenza can be deadly too and that never stopped anyone before so why should this? Because the government, says so? Nope! I would rather live normally than live in fear, that's my personal choice and my family can make up their own minds. These politicians aren't even following these ridiculous guidelines, why aren't they scared? Maybe they know something we don't? Like it's being used for control and fear propaganda? Just my thoughts and yes I have family members that work in the medical field and they share my point of view. At any moment life can end for anyone so why would we want to miss out on time together?
Thank you, you seem to be the only one on here questioning the narrative. It breaks my heart to see everyone complying and asking no questions. I have researched the underlying agenda and also how and what the vaccines will do to our bodies. It isn't a pretty story. If anyone wants some of the information I have gleaned, please feel free to message me. I don't want to go into details here because it seems to garner hate / fear responses.
 
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