ISO positive thoughts

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dame

Distinguished member
Joined
Dec 19, 2013
Posts
601
Every once in a while, life gets REAL, you know? A few weeks ago my father died suddenly of a heart attack, out of the blue. Then last week, my boyfriend (partner of almost 12 years) was diagnosed with malignant melanoma. They took a sample at the dermatologist's and it came back positive. Tomorrow he has surgery to remove the tumor and the surrounding tissue, which will require a skin graft taken from his thigh. The surgeon will also remove lymph nodes to biopsy. As of now there is no indication that it may have spread, but needless to say, I'm scared stiff. And it's a pretty nasty surgery regardless.

My very first thought when he got the diagnosis was, I want to talk to my dad. Of course, I can't. Or, more accurately, I can talk, but he's not talking back.

Plus I've been planning a pretty big community event for about nine months. It's this weekend, and I don't even know if I'm going to be able to go to my own party. :(

So -- if anyone can spare some good vibes the next few days, please send them my way! They will be much appreciated. Thanks.
 

petenyc

Exalted member
Joined
May 1, 2011
Posts
2,593
ISO positive thoughts
My deepest condolences for your for the loss of your father. I know the feeling of wanting to speak to my own, passed away in 1988, still arises at certain times in my life.

Also you have a heavy load to carry with your boyfriend’s surgery tomorrow. You have a ton of positive thoughts and vibes from me. But you must keep the faith and stay positive as well.

The event can take a back seat in your mind as family and loved ones always come first. You should consider going, just put up a front, smile and see it through as you have worked for the last nine months on it. It will help, even for a short period of time have you feel better.

Thoughts and prayers are with you.
 

djrick

Exalted member
Joined
Aug 17, 2011
Posts
4,066
Hi @dame


I am so sorry for the loss of your father and now the health scare with your partner. Praying for strength for you and good health for him.

An on-line friend sent me this msg this AM ~ Make your memories, enjoy family and friends be kind and beautiful ...

Please keep posting as you have time as to how life is progressing.

Best.
 

Lifeliver

Honorable member
Joined
Sep 2, 2016
Posts
496
It's hard when you get down to being the older generation (as your parents pass). I'll pray for you.

Btw, please consider looking into some alternative therapies with regard to boyfriend. You can do many of them along side the traditional route. There are many clean cancer diets that onecan follow, especially cutting out sugar. And I'm sure they'll tell him to be sure and wear sunscreen but read the labels. There are better ones at health food stores. The skin is the largest organ of the body and we rub chemicals into it!!! There are starting to be done, some decent research that our sunscreens can be causing cancers.
Google TTAC.
 

Mrs Parker

Exalted member
Joined
May 9, 2012
Posts
4,129
@dame, I'm so sorry for the loss of your father. I hope everything goes smoothly for you and your boyfriend tomorrow and please
remember in the midst of all of this to take good care of yourself too, ok? We are better caregivers for others when we have
cared for ourselves. Good vibes and thoughts coming your way and big hugs of support!

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dame

Distinguished member
Joined
Dec 19, 2013
Posts
601
Thank you for all the kind words. It was a long day, but the surgery went as well as it possibly could have. The doc is cautiously optimistic; his blood work is completely normal; and so far, everything seems promising. We should have the lymph node biopsy in a couple of days.
@Lifeliver -- we're absolutely looking into alternative therapies. IF it turns out that this gets complicated, I'm not sure that he would choose to go the "western medicine" route. I happened, in a strange case of synchronicity, to be talking to an acquaintance with a vast knowledge of herbal healing when my partner called me and told me his diagnosis. So we've started some supplements and are going low-carb. Definitely cutting sugar!!! Good advice for everyone!!! That stuff is as bad for you as any drug, methinks...
 

Lifeliver

Honorable member
Joined
Sep 2, 2016
Posts
496
So glad everything is looking up!

And I'm glad you've got some guidance. As I said, google TTAC and also Chris Wark. That is route I would go.
 

dame

Distinguished member
Joined
Dec 19, 2013
Posts
601
Life has been nutty and I forgot all about this post... but just to update, after an agonizing wait, we got a call at 3 p.m. last Friday with good news -- his lymph nodes were clean. So I jumped in my car and went to my event (I had friends looking in on & feeding him over the weekend while I was occupied!) and had a fabulous time. Yesterday we had a follow-up appt with an oncologist who recommended a PET scan. While he said there's no reason to think the cancer is anywhere else in the body, he said he'd like to establish a base-line in the event that the melanoma recurs. Also we need to follow up with regular skin checks every few months.

BF is still feeling the effects of the surgery -- it was pretty painful -- but he is healing well and should be up and about normally next week. Mentally, however, he is experiencing fairly extreme anxiety. He got a prescription for that today. I think that's probably completely normal under the circumstances.
@Lifeliver, yes, Chris' site is pretty awesome! I stumbled on it when I was crawling around the interwebs. We (yes, I'm doing it too!) are eating apricot kernels, lots of blueberries, and taking turkey tail mushroom supplements & hawthorn for immune support. Of course, it's easy to say what you'd do if it were you -- BUT I don't think I'd do anything except aggressively pursue so-called "alternative" remedies. I simply have less-than-zero patience for navigating the medical labyrinth. That's why I came to PR in the first place. :)
 
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