More bad news on my husbands CAT scan

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Shayna

Exalted member
Joined
Feb 18, 2012
Posts
4,165
Now the Endocrinology practice called for my husband, and I let the phone ring to see if he would pick it up -- he did.

My husband said that they said he has a heart problem detected on the CAT scan, with the blood vessels, I think. They want him to have a cardiac stress test, but he can't until the surgery(ies) conclude.

He gets kidney surgery tomorrow and may need more kidney surgery on a later date. He has gallstones which need attention from a general surgeon, and now this.

All the while, I keep putting off getting the medical stuff I need for my pain. I don't get help around the house or monetarily support from him. He says it's because he is sick, and he'll change when he gets better. But he never does -- and meanwhile I am battling several serious conditions and still work and do everything else.

The only rest and relief from all of this I will ever get is when I'm dead. I. Am. So. Done.
 

TiredMouse

Eminent member
Joined
Dec 13, 2015
Posts
1,008
Hugs. I'm so sorry for all your troubles. One thing I'd advise is to get this stuff taken care of before Trump takes office. If he repeals Obamacare, the costs of medical procedures and medications will surely skyrocket. So try to get as much done now as you can. Again, I'm so sorry.
 

ethom

Honorable member
Joined
Jul 29, 2016
Posts
464
So sorry to hear about the added stress in your life. I feel for you as it must be very difficult to deal with EVERYTHING. I hope you can find something for YOU and only you. I know your husband is not well but you don't want to get more frustrated and end up resenting him more. Try to do something for you at least once a week - maybe a new hobby, a movie, a hike. Something. I spend much of my day exercising and this is how I cope with all my responsibilities. I get up early before everyone else in the house when no one can bother me. It's MY time and I know it makes me a better wife and mother (though I am far from perfect).
 

Mrs Parker

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Joined
May 9, 2012
Posts
4,129
You are both in my prayers, Miss @Shayna
I wasn't sure which thread I should comment on so I'll just put my thoughts here:
Is your husband having something done with his kidneys that is more invasive than Shock Wave Lithotripsy? Because the lithotripsy
only has a few days recovery time listed. I saw that you had mentioned 1-2 weeks recovery time for him. If it's only a few days
recovery then he shouldn't have any excuse for not getting things done.

Please hold him accountable for what he says and does. Please don't cave in because he starts acting nice for a few days. If he won't
go to counseling or make a new appointment, go without him. I know you want him to show the initiative and make and keep those
appointments, but they are for your benefit too. If you go without him, please take the opportunity to speak very openly about the fear
you feel when your husband is angry. Please be candid about hiding in your house to avoid his rages. Your counselor can't help if they
don't have the full picture.

Lastly, and certainly most importantly- please don't let him bully you into not eating and practicing self-care. If he gets angry about
you making Minute Rice, tough cookies. Running yourself into the ground health-wise doesn't help you at all and he is not likely to
respect what you are trying to say by doing that. Think of all the times we told Cinderella1 to take good care of herself while she
cared for Frank. I say the same to you now. Please be good to yourself at every opportunity. ::hugs of support::
 

Lifeliver

Honorable member
Joined
Sep 2, 2016
Posts
496
I second @Mrs. Parker. Can you tell me what your belief system is? After I posted on the other thread, you stated that you looked at the scriptures. Are you a Christian? Since you've put this out here for support, can I ask why you are staying with him? You can PM me if you feel more comfortable. I understand completely if you dont wish to share.

Can I ask if you are allowed to have money of your own? Does he know you order? Just some things that might help with well rounded advice - not to be nosey. As I said, I understand if you do t want to comment.

You're in my prayers.
 

amy43

Honorable member
Joined
May 9, 2012
Posts
221
@Shayna, So sorry for what you are going through. To deal with so much must be lonely and draining. I feel for you suffering with your own pain and health problems.
I hope things improve, but understand how lonely and painful and despairing it is when they don't. So sending hugs.
 

Shayna

Exalted member
Joined
Feb 18, 2012
Posts
4,165
Thanks everyone, it's been a very long day, but hoping it will be winding down soon. He is home from the hospital. I just have to get his subs that he wanted and pick up his filled scripts at Walgreens.

Every step hurts, my pain meds aren't cutting it. I need to get off my feet, I just keep telling myself, soooooon
 

Shayna

Exalted member
Joined
Feb 18, 2012
Posts
4,165
Hi everyone,

Thanks for your support and prayers. I am grateful for such good friends!!

Today, my husband rested in bed and watched a lot of TV. He is fully alert and ambulatory. His pain is well managed, except when he urinates, which is often and brief due to his stent.

He has developed a cough and some chest congestion but says he feels all right. He thinks it is leftover from the anesthesia etc.

I am thinking about calling the ask-a-nurse service on my insurance, which is 24 7. Thoughts?
 
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